Let’s face it, saying “no” can be a pain in the rear. For millions of people, this stems from being a chronic people pleaser. While this may seem like a good trait at face value, it often means you prioritize others’ needs over your own. Boundaries are an essential part of any relationship, whether it’s with friends, family, or a romantic partner. Boundaries help ensure that you are comfortable and respected in your relationships. Setting and enforcing boundaries often means saying “no” to things that make you uncomfortable, things that are emotionally taxing, or things that create unnecessary stress in your life.
If this is a brand-new concept for you, it might seem like an impossible task. Luckily, we have five tips to help you set and enforce boundaries in your relationships:
Sometimes setting boundaries in a relationship can be as easy as having a discussion about boundaries and your comfort level relating to different things. You may assume that you and your partner are on the same page about certain things when you are actually in totally different spots. It’s important to have discussions about things like borrowing material possessions, boundaries related to how much time you spend together, and boundaries around physical touch, to name a few.
Learning how to say no and set boundaries is not something that will happen overnight, especially if you are not in the practice of prioritizing yourself and your own needs. Once you set the intention to create more boundaries in your life, start off small! Decline a work call after business hours. Say no to a colleague who wants to grab a coffee if you’re having a stressful day. Don’t let your friend borrow your favorite sweater if you know they’re a slob. Adding “no” to your vocabulary will take time, but standing up for yourself in small ways will help you get into the practice of saying “no.”
- Use Relish
In some cases, setting boundaries is too difficult to do on your own. Relish is a relationship coaching app that you (and your partner!) can use to achieve your relationship goals and set healthy boundaries. When you and your partner sign up, you’ll have access to personality quizzes, professional relationship coaches, and personalized lesson plans. Relish is packed full of experience and data to help you set boundaries and be more satisfied with your relationship.